Gaslighting
gaslighting
manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.
“in the first episode, Karen Valentine is being gaslighted by her husband.”
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I was recently gaslighted during one of my projects. It was an awful experience, and though I had been through it once before, it was even more infuriating this time around because I saw it coming. What’s worse is that I was still unable to do anything about it because I was a contractor.
All of the boxes for the phenotype had been meticulously checked off. It was as if the perpetrator read the summary checklist in an Abnormal Psychology textbook and decided to try it out on a person. This individual displayed insecurity, narcissism, plotting, planning, sculped language, and designed responses in an attempt to coerce the subject (me) into a thought pattern that is beneficial to him, the gaslighter. It was pretty nasty stuff. Generally, he was the kind of person that we all wish to stay away from in this life. So it got me wondering; what’s so different about how this person is trying to get his needs met as opposed to that of the media’s quest to manipulate? And when has gaslighting become an acceptable form of mainstream behavior?
Every time I read a paper or listen to a news channel, I feel as if I have to ask the following questions:
- Who’s on the Board of Directors?
- What are their personal agendas?
- What companies are invested in this particular news source?
- What are their corporate agendas?
- Are the lead editors homegrown or of a foreign source?
The list goes on.
I ask these questions because it appears to me that EVERY news source is engaging in the practice of gaslighting. They are attempting to twist and manipulate the public into voting for their agendas. It’s been very fruitful for them! But it’s very damaging to the collective public. How can we teach children to behave as considerate adults when they are drowning in this pool of mass mania? They’re being gaslighted daily.
I don’t have the answer because, on some level, we all try to persuade others to adopt our beliefs in an attempt to validate ourselves. I’m looking for a way to reconcile what’s happening. In the meantime, I am going to stick with the following:
GASLIGHTING IS WRONG. It’s devious. Please don’t do it.
Let’s Find a Silver Lining
When I was a child, I had an old wooden chest with some painted swiss flowers on the side. It was the home of all of my toys. But there were rules. If the chest didn’t close and had more than three inches of toys exposed through the opening, I had to give some of the toys to a charity. Enough so the chest would close completely. The decision-making process was stressful because, like most children, I wanted to keep them all.
When that day would come, usually around Christmas or my birthday, when there were new toys, I would dread the ritual of deciding which of my toys or games, were going to a new home. At one point, I was trying to give away individual blocks, but it never added up to much. I recall my elders watching me and relaying the reasoning behind the ritual. The choice was mine, and if I didn’t choose, they would decide for me. They explained that their choices could be items that I was particularly attached to and that I would regret not having made the decisions myself. So reluctantly, I chose and got to keep the things I loved and enjoyed the most. There were silver linings abound. I was sharing, and that felt good. The room was neat, and that looked good. I learned not to be too greedy because it made a mess of things, and that is very good.
Today, I feel as if I am back there in my childhood, except now we have collectively chosen not to manage our chest of toys, and Mother Nature is making these choices for us.
Though we are facing a pandemic where many can die, we are also in need of new ideas. Ideas that will help the planet thrive while helping humanity enjoy the technology and global connectedness we wish to share. We face stress because of the unknown. But we’re still capable of finding and making our personal silver linings.
Most people have legitimate fears that block them from looking for silver. It’s hard to imagine anything positive if you’re worried about feeding your family or thinking about your frail grandparents. To top it off, you’re seeking out the bleach, antibacterial hand wipes, and whatever else you can find to kill off the damned Covid-19, but you must try.
So here are a few silver linings to ponder. We have all been wanting to save the planet. But like me in childhood, we found it too challenging to dumb down our lifestyles and cut back on our bulging chests of toys. Even when dangers are lurking within the mess, we are creating more chaos than we can handle. We want a cleaner world with clean water, an abundance of life, but we’re all arguing over what to keep and what to throw out. Our silver lining is that maybe while in lockdown, we will all learn to live with a little less, and we will all see our common humanity because Covid-19 does not see any differences between us.
Maybe we’ll have that extra time with our families that we always wanted but couldn’t arrange. Maybe we are fortunate enough to have a yard, and can plant that vegetable garden we planned 20 years ago, but never got around to doing. Maybe some of us are like Elon Musk, and crazy overworked, the forced downtime will help them think of something even more brilliant for the rest of us to enjoy all while saving the atmosphere or whatever gift they wish to return to the planet. Maybe some of you are barely getting by, and have always seen the wealthy succeed and feel deprived, the silver lining could be a gift of realizing wealth can be fleeting and that life, family, and health are everything. If you feel alone, know you are not, we are all in this boat together.
Lastly, maybe we need to remember, to clean out the chest when she is coming down the hall, because WE ARE NO MATCH FOR MOTHER!
Questionable World of the 1%

I’ve never liked malls. I remember the day I went to my first one. I felt as if it were in a cookie-cutter box. Everyone else was raving about it, and as an 11-year-old, I should have just chimed right in to join the crowd. I didn’t. It felt empty to me. No soul.
Today the malls are disappearing rapidly. I shouldn’t care because I think they’ve raped the world of beauty and individuality. They’ve changed the face of many countries’ ethnicities and coerced them into sameness. Sameness is the death of originality, and I’ll argue that it’s the beginning of tyranny. No matter where or when you look back on your young life, I’m sure the most traumatic part is when a large group of sameness starts picking on the difference. (Let’s get this straight, the word ethnicity applies to EVERYONE. No person is NOT part of an ethnic group.) So I am saying that malls are disappearing, and oddly enough, I am not happy. Why? It’s because I don’t know what’s replacing them, who is behind the replacement, and what these individuals see as beauty in humanity.
Many people have written about Jeff Bezo’s, Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, and the rest of Silicon Valley. They’ve been interviewed and indulged in their futuristic dreams to ensure a return invitation to the press room. But I really want to know where these entrepreneurs are happiest. What does their favorite place on Earth look like today? What kind of food is served there? What’s the temperament of the culture? Are the people free? Do their favorite places display antiquity and the arts no matter the faults of the citizens gone past? Do these places collect antique textiles and art from around the world and display them with humility and respect? Respect for the number of hands that created them or with the arrogance of a collector? Are their favorite places multicultural or homogeneous?
This pandemic ensures that the world’s wealth trickles into very few hands. Because of this fact, these questions are imperative because these individuals can mold the world into what they would like to see every day. I’m not asking about the vision of a car, a search engine or Data Center, etc. The question is, what is your vision of EARTH’S BEST LIFE? Mark, Elon, Jeff, Sergey, Larry, Bill, Marc, Howard? Outside of your success, what is your vision for everyday life? Here. Not Mars, Europa moon, or elsewhere. What do you want for Mother Earth? I sure hope it’s not Amazon as the only purveyor of goods! And, it’s a hideous concept if our dreams include a mall on Mars and some terraforming project that will free the planet from industrialization if you ignore our current situation and needs.
Most of us know off-worlding won’t happen in our lifetime. So a natural response would be excellent. Chime in anytime you feel free to express yourselves.
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